I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
