member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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