I don't think brook has ever known best
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
