i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
