it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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