No more Irish car bombs ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
