Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
