come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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