Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
