I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize