One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize