i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
