3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
