i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
