I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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