I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
