my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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