I love black thongs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
