i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
