D3 body, D1 cock
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
