love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
