did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
