after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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