If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
