Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So much rum. So many feels.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
