well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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