Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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