You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
