you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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