i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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