Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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