dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
