He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
