Dual....:-)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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