she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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