You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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