Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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