Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
