I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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