sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think I died a long time ago.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
