Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize