I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
