If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
