Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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