is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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