It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
