I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize