I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
