East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
