I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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