I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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