Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize