i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
