If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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