I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
