Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize