I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
