I want to make a zoo with you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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