Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
