HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
