If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
