you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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