Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Please don't give away my fajitas
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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