He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
