I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
