Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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