she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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