That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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