im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
