Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
