Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
