shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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