I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize