i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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