I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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