I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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