Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
