I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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